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  • Writer's picturegarysjordan

Home Moanership XIII

Updated: Sep 1, 2023


I just gathered expired foods for disposal. I do that from time to time. The item(s) that stand out in this episode of "How Old Is That Food?!" is the Crispy stuff I sprinkle on soups and salads. Ten bags of Fresh Gourmet Crispy Garlic, Crispy Jalapeño, Crispy Red Pepper, and Crispy Onion, all dating back to a Best By date over a year ago. There was also a family-size bag of Crispy Hatch Chilies, same age.

The trash bag will also contain old ketchup and various refrigerated condiments plus some leftovers I can't carbon-date accurately. There's some Black Forest Ham I'm suspicious of, but two sandwiches from now there'll be no evidence. Just in case, I'll fry it.

What makes this a Home Moanership problem is that the upstairs family and the downstairs family don't coordinate shopping. The dotter will occasionally "borrow" eggs, butter, cheese, or vinegar. Even cooking oil, now and again. I would happily share the crispy stuff, but nobody wants it. I bought too much, and while I have consumed multiple bags of each (especially crispy onions!), I don't need any more than one open bag at a time.


The expired issue is not over, but it is a first-world problem. I purchased a too-large supply of Land O Lakes Mini-Moos, the Half&Half liquid coffee creamer. I bought them because I adore/like/love/crave Half&Half in my decaf coffee. Powdered creamers are full of crap. My body has enough crap. So, I decided on a cup of coffee with a Mini-Moo® and some artificial sweetener.

Had I seen the review below, which perfectly describes my problem, I might have continued buying the pints, instead.

I bought two boxes on sale for $1.49 for 24, great deal, yes. Loved it. Then I purchased a 24 pack and every one I’ve opened has pieces and clumps and undissolved chunks floating in my coffee making it gross, who wants white stuff floating in the coffee, not me. I would go back to the powder, but that’s way too expensive. I see lots of the same complaints… what is the reason or explanation for this??

This stuff is supposed to be shelf-stable and not require refrigeration. Wah!

This morning I am enjoying a cup of coffee (Decaf Folgers Crystals) lightened with Atkins Dark Chocolate Royale protein-rich Shake. Also, a squirt of SweetDrops caramel flavored stevia sweetener. After throwing out over 300 Mini-Moos, this is improving my day. See what I mean about first-world problem? I mean, start with having clean potable water to make coffee from, and slap me for whining.

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