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  • Writer's picturegarysjordan

I Want to Eat My Cake and Have It Too**

Updated: Oct 13, 2022


I went to my FNFL* for some carnivore food - steaks and chops and burger - and some carbonated beverages for the grandkinder. When I wander through the deli, which is of course arranged so you have to pass through to get anywhere else, I spied with my old eyes the object pictured above. Other than a German Chocolate cake, Apple Spice Cake is my very most favoritest cake in the whole entire world! But they never have it, so I grabbed this one and had to tell myself to keep shopping because 'cake is not why I'm here.'

340 calories per serving, 49 grams of carbohydrates, 240 milligrams of sodium. How big is a serving? 85 grams (3 ounces). How big a slice did I serve myself? 231 grams (~9 ounces). I had just enough room left on the diet not to exceed any limits, but I'm pretty much done for the night. Room for a diet beverage or two.

O.M.G. was it ever good! But I have belated realized that this is another one of those "only available at Halloween" things. So, once I've eaten all 48 ounces, that's it until next year.

2022-10-13 19:05:00

I have, after sharing slices with the aforementioned grandchiilins, but before slicing a generous serving for myself, proven the verity of that auld saying:





* FNFL = Friendly Neighborhood Food Lion (grocery store). Does anyone remember Stan Lee's Spiderman used to call himself, "your friendly neighborhood Spiderman"?

** Most everyone says that the other way 'round. "He wants to have his cake and eat it, too." But that is semantically incorrect. If you have a cake, you can eat the cake. "He wants to eat his cake and have it, too." is logically impossible. Once it's eaten, there is no cake to have. (Please do not mention the chewed-up pre-turds.) Picture instead, Schrödinger's Cake. The cake and I are placed in a box with radioactive particle. If the particle decays, I can eat the cake. Unless you open the box to look, the cake is still uneaten and eaten, both, in a state of, um, quantum superindecision, or something like that. (Hint: Leave me in a box with cake for days and whether or not the particle decays, that cake is toast. Not toast, just crumbs. Not many of those.)

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